Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Can someone review my thesis statement on Calvin Klein?

Thesis: Calvin Richard Klein cast out his provocative, controversial, and metrosexual ads and designs unto the fashion world and created a simple and sexy aura making the industry a positively great place to be and buy in.





(I am trying to convene that Calvin Klein was a positive influence on the fashion industry and want my thesis to sound argumentative and well written). I am in grade 9 in Highschool honors English|||onto not unto


simple sexy not simple and sexy


to be and buy


convene? convey


Well written comes from writing well. Either it is well written or it isn't.


You want it to be argumentative but where is the controversy?


How are his ads provocative controversial ?


great place to be and buy needs work.





Find better words for place, great , be and buy.

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